Christmas

Last weekend I had an early Christmas.

Due to the fact I'm stuck in ED on Christmas Day, I decided to string together some days off and go home to spend Christmas with my family a week early.

As I flew home I gazed out into the distance over the dry dusty countryside. It amazed me just how barren and lifeless the land had become. Perhaps symbolic of what was to await me?

As the plane touched down I saw a familiar shape waving intently at the plane.

It was Dad.

As I got off the plane, I tilted my head down; half embaressed by the display he was putting on and half trying to avoid facing the reality of a man I once knew.

Finally I looked up... and as I looked up I saw a man that shocked me. A man devoid of the warm beard he once sported, the beard that had defined his care and yet his authority. The beard that had not been removed since before his marriage. It was now gone and the face I saw beneath looked too familar. Too much like mine.

The next few days showed just how much his degeneration had come. Familiar names meant nothing to him anymore. Phrases were less constructed and more bizarre. Days were spent picking up the leaves and sticks in the yard (purpose? we do not know but dare not ask).

The man who once controlled hundreds of millions of dollars of roadworks could no longer control his bladder. Days once spent in government meetings were now spent in front of a television waiting for the afternoon gameshows.

His new friends were now the strangers he met on the street. His old friends were now the ones he didn't know.

And yet as we exchanged gifts, it was as though time had forgotten the last year and he was the man I once knew. The familiar Christmas carols and rituals brought back memories of past festivities shared with this man. The out of tune singing, the warm summer nights, the home cooked roast.

Last Christmas I called this man "Dad", one year later he mistakenly called me his "Dad".

As I flew back to Sydney, I was confused. Was I leaving home? Or was I coming home?

As I hugged my mother and felt her tears, I knew that the dream I once remembered of home had gone. The warm past was gone and the cold future awaits.

Merry Christmas to all you blog readers... please treasure each Christmas day you have with your loved ones. You don't know how many you'll have.