The Grey Reality

Being a surgical intern has been pretty cool I must admit. You get to live the lifestyle idolised by people on TV dramas like ER. You get to wear the scrubs and strut like you're important.

Recently, when people ask what I do for a living, I tell them I'm a surgical intern and that I'm basically living out "Grey's Anatomy" except without all the complicated love stories.

And to be honest, that's what it feels like.

Day after day I get to wear my scrubs and interact with other doctors with personalities that put the TV shows to shame. The little idiosyncracies of the surgeons, the backstabbing of other interns trying to get onto surgical training programs (well maybe just one in particular).

I feel like I'm living my dreams. We have interesting and bizarre surgical cases on Urology which always make for interesting stories. I get to assist with operating when my reg's aren't too busy. I have enough time off to enjoy and relax with my newfound financial freedom.

I know people who are like Izzy and care too much, I know people like George who are the nice-guys-always-left-out and I know surgical nuts like Christina who'd sell their firstborn child to get onto surgical training programs.

I feel like I'm on TV! And it's great!

However, I forgot that on TV, they are called 'dramas' for a reason. In order to make it interesting to watch, the writers need to add some kind of tension or problem in order to sustain viewers interest.

In the case of Grey's Anatomy, there is the estranged relationship with McDreamy, but on the side lurks another subplot regarding Meredith's mother who has recently been diagnosed with dementia.

And this is the Grey Reality of my life.

Last Thursday my father was diagnosed with Picks Disease (frontotemporal dementia) and for once the novelty of living out the reality of a TV show was not so great.

My ideal lifestyle has now come crashing down in a heap and my plans for the future are all in disarray.

Basically my dad has about 5 years to live (give or take a few) during which time he will progressively deteriorate and need more and more care. Whereas he once provided for the family for so many years, now it is our time to provide for him.

Somehow we gotta sort out what to do, but to be honest, I dont KNOW what to do.

There IS no treatment, no surgery, no pills, no intervention to slow or halt disease progression (unlike Alzheimers).

As a doctor I feel really powerless and useless.

Reality sucks!