Lapping the main

Yes that's right... I'm back rediscovering my 'roots' in good ole Bushville.

In order to:
a) escape the memories of last week and S
b) spend some time with my dad whilst I can
c) support mum
d) catch up with my gandparents

I decided to make the trek over the Blue Mountains to my home town out in the sticks. To be honest, it's not that exciting. All people do here is work, shoot things, drink beer and lap.

Now 'lapping the main' is a peculiar phenomenon to country towns. Devoid of such fun things as nightclubs or restaurants (other than the obligatory Chinese takeaway*) they have construed a novel pastime that entails them acquiring a standard white ute with bullbar and spotlight and gun rack and occasional live-dog-on-back and revving their aforementioned vehicle up and down the main street and leering at girls who are brave/stupid enough to be walking outside at that time of the evening (ie after 6pm)

* I use the term 'Chinese Takeaway' very loosely as I am aware of how the cuisine in such places is of no way related at all to true Chinese cuisine and is in fact a lame attempt to feed Westerners lots of MSG under the guise of being 'multicultural', but never let it be said that I don't actually enjoy the sweet-&-sour-insert-name-of-any-meat

However eventually the road comes to an end and faced with the prospect of having to turn off into another street, the local council so thoughtfully constructed two (that's right the only ones in town!) roundabouts, so that perplexed drivers may now turn around at the end of their journey and (you guessed it!) do it all again!

And people wonder why there's NO doctors in the bush. Ha!

But on a more serious note, it's kinda great to be home and also heartbreaking at the same time. Dad's already lost his 3 object recall ability (for those of you familiar with the MMSE) and his dementia seems to be progressing fairly steadily. I really wonder if it'll err on the shorter side than the longer.

Which raises a more uncomfortable question... is it better if it progresses quickly rather than drags on? Like on one hand, we love him heaps, wanna spend time with him and don't wanna let him go because he's so young. But at the same time, a long protracted illness will only mean suffering for everyone involved and be a long hard battle (esp for those who will be living with him daily).

Today he officially found out he's lost his job. We kinda knew it was coming, but he doesn't accept or understand it. It was really hard to watch him get hostile and angry about his termination, knowing that he has no insight into what's going on. Mum just looks on with a sorrow I've never seen before.

I see less and less of the man I once knew. I see disease taking him away from me, inch by inch. I see a man once full of life and love now reduced to a diagnosis.

The battle's only just begun.