Nurses are stupid!

Man I hate nurses...

Like in every television show they depict the war between nurses and doctors as some trivial little ego petting banter that has no real underlying basis.

Well they're wrong!

Nurses are so annoying and make our lives hell. They are put on earth to frustrate our plans and make our working life a misery. They must lay awake at night thinking of ways to catch out those annoying little interns who hold all the real power.

Now don't get me wrong... 95% of the nurses I work with are amazing and professional and I count it a privelege to work with them etc etc blah blah blah...

But theres that small minority who have a chip on their shoulder and really need to grow up.

Last Friday we had a guy wanted to build a mosque. He wanted to erect this mosque in his backyard. But when council declined his developmental application he decided to rock up brandishing a tomahawk axe and threatening to kill everyone.

So they locked him up.

Then he decides he has chest pain and even though he's floridly off with the fairies, by law it's my duty to take all medical complaints seriously so I had to run off some blood to do his Troponins and he suddenyl decides he is no longer a Muslim but that now he is a Jehovah's Witness and cannot give me his blood ("You can look, but you can't touch").

So I wrote in the notes "Pt refusing to give blood. Plan: Encourage pt to have blood test and if he agrees page the RMO (that's me) immeaditely on pager xxxx"

Later that day I'm colouring in some med charts when the nurse looking after him runs in and says "Hey Dr J can you come and take some blood from that guy. He agreed and I had one go but I missed and now he's all angry and doesn't wanna allow me"

Now what part of "PAGE ME IMMEADITELY" did she not understand?

So off I trudge to find that she's managed to stuff the only patent vein in an IV drug user and managed to tick him off so much he really doesnt wanna let us back for another stab. I got the reg to take his blood to avoid any more 'misses' and as he's taking it the nurse starts whining "You know you really aren't suspposed to take bllod with a syringe... the new protocol says you have to use the vacutainer"

SHUT UP!!! (apparently this protocol does not exist - I have subsequently been informed)

Then today I asked this same nurse to take one of our patients to ED (the Australian ER) to meet the ENT surgeon so he could get some toilet paper taken out of his ear (don't ask how it got in there - ayo!)

It had taken my registrar quite a long time to convince the surgeon's receptionist that this was a matter worthy of her bosses attention, so finally we had it booked.

So as I walked out of the dungeon today I saw the nurse escortin the patient back to the ward.

"Wow Nurse... that was fairly quick!"

"Oh well... I went up there... but I couldn't see the surgeon anywhere and they were busy up there so I brought him back down"

Grrr!! Doesn' she know after working in the hospital for who knows how long that surgeons are always a bit late? Was her stupid tea break THAT important that my patient now has missed his hardly fought for appointment with the ENT guy?

Then as I walke dout the door I got paged by some nurses on the medical ward who decided that 5pm was the right time to call me and ask me to come and assess a suicidal patient and write him up under a form II under the Mental Health Act.

Like seriously! They've had all day to page me and I've had plenty of free time to do this. Why then, just as I'm leaving, do they decide to bug me?

"Not happy Jan!"

Weekend was pretty good. The girls all went away from Whoop Whoop so the boyz had da house to ourselves.

We woke up late. Went shopping for auto accessories ("argh argh argh!" - insert:male grunting) and then went to Byron for dinner and I had THE nicest fish and chips I've ever had in my entire life (and at $20 it had better have been!). Then went swimming at Byron on Sunday moring, had a leisurely lunch then swam again before heading back in time for church.

I luv weekends now. They make so much more sense once you're working. I can't wait for Friday afternoon to roll around.

Sigh.

Which makes Mondays all the more depressing.