"Ladies and Gentleman... Welcome!"

So began the first words of the best 2 hours of fun I've had in a while.

But first, one must set the scene.

It was a unusually scorching spring day where I didn't have to go to work. Got up late and put on a music DVD to get myself ready for the evening to follow. Had a casual lunch on the beach with a workmate and then went home to get ready.

Gave myself a haircut (yes it does need to be cut!) and picked out my fav pink polo tee and polished my head till it shone. Donned my redstripe Nikes and hopped on a bus into the city to meet my Malaysian mate A.

He was waiting with his SLR camera in the CBD and we highfived each other as we headed down the main drag to get some food. We exctiedly chattered about the upcoming night and planned ways to meet our object of affection in person. We travelled via Chinatown to peruse the CD stores and look at new DVDs.

We arrived at the Entertainement Centre with 30 minutes to spare. All I could see were short black haired fans of Asian extraction piling into the doors and chattering on their phones with excitement. We were definitely in the right place.

The security guards gave me a confused look as I passed through, triumphantly clutching my ticket. Upon entry, we were endowed with plastic fluro-cloured whistles and blow up 'banging sticks' (you blow them up and hit them together to make loud noises - go figure?)

We hurredly found our seats and realised we were in the main section 3rd row from the floor. We had a good view and were right in front of the stage. My mate A began to turn around and play the "Spot the white person game" (he counted a total of 3) and over the next 30 minutes the arena became packed with 6000 screaming Asians. As we waited nervously, big screens played advertisements for Taiwanese tourism, projecting images of places I'd long forgotten I'd visited.

And then it began.

The sounds turned down and the lights went out. A roar from the crowd heralded the imminent arrival of the Princess of Pop*. Suddenly a deafening minor chord blasted from the front and a lone female voice I knew all too well called out:

"Ladies and Gentleman... Welcome!"

A silhouette formed at the peak of the stage pyramid and next thing I knew the lights flooded the arena and there she was.

Jolin Tsai!


She launched straight into her latest album's first song and I began to shake with excitement. It was everything I had imagined and more. The dancers poured onto the stage and the spectacle began. It ws a nonstop action packed routine. Not only was she doing a full choregraphy routine, but she was singing live thru a headset microphone too (as evidenced by when it stopped half way thru the song cos she pulled it out accidently) Flamethrowers and fireworks routinely set themselves off from the stage and the crowd started going wild.

I found myself completely stunned. It was her! She sang fluently whilst dancing better than most of her support dancers and still managed to smile the whole time. In between sets she would chat with the crowd ending with a resounding "Hao, bu hao?"

Then the familiar chords of "Upup" started and I rose to my feet dragging A up yelling "This is it! This is the first song of hers I ever heard 2 years ago!" Yes that's right... 2 years ago I first heard her voice on Taiwan's MTV singing about an MP3 player and since then it's been sealed... I'm a fan!


In all there were 7 costume changes and enough warm smiles to reaffirm her title as the "teenage boy killer". Some random dude from 'F4' (Jerry) got up and sang as her support act, but thankfully only for 2 songs and then it was back to Miss Tsai.

And then it came, the penultimate song... her title track that took 10 months of dancing practice to master... the "Dancing Diva"... the Middle Eastern melody and harmonics came to life and next thing I knew there were moves that would put Olympic rhythmic gymnasts to shame.

And then to finish off, she welcomed the crowd down the front and what ensued could only be described as a massive Asian mosh pit as the Queen farewelled her Australian fans.

I rose to my feet with the crowds as we sang in Mandarin.


It was awesome!

And then she flashed us one last smile... took her final bow and said "Xie xie! Zai jian!"

And with that it was over. But the memories** will remain for years to come. Man it's good to act my age once in a while and be young!

"Jolin, wo ai ni!"

* well at least in Asia
** well not JUST memories. The disputes between A and I about who will marry Jolin will go on forever! As will the permanent hearing loss I now have from the excessive decibel usage. Haha!