Bored...

Ok.

I'm over it.

The sheen of being an intern has worn off and I'm bored.

And not in a small way... in a HUGE way. Now we have a few registrars, I have very little work to do and I kinda feel like my job is irrelevant. After doing the ward round (which I just sit thru) I play around looking at my patients lab results and then twiddle my thumbs... chart some meds.. and then count down to lunch.

There's seriously gotta be more to internship than this. I'm becoming ahedonic (someone who lacks pleasure in things) at an alarming rate and I'm beginning to become really down about this whole term.

In fact, after living down in the madhouse for so long... I'm really starting to question my sanity... espcially after 2 nights ago I had a dream that someone was trying to kill me so I murdered them with a table knife in self defence. It was so vivid... I remember going for their intercostal spaces so as to inflict the most damage and try to get their heart... how morbid is that! Woke up in a panic with my heart racing and freaked out by my dream thought content. Watch out if I ever carry a knife around... hehe...

To top it off, last night us interns watched a documentary about the London Bombings on TV... it was really disturbing (as only those kind of documentarys can be) and I went to bed feeling really down... so to cheer myself up today I went to McDonald's for breakfast... nothing like their 'spicy sausage' to release some much-needed endorphins.

Took a super long lunch break today (to pace my boredom) and sat in the local mall and drank a large ice chocolate from Gloria Jeans... reminded me of doing Management Viva questions with the old gang from St. George in med school. I wish I was back in med school... at least then if you were bored you could make up a tutorial that you 'had to go to'... now I just sit there and stare at the computer screen... [sigh]

Please pray for my sanity!