How To Pick Up Chicks 101:

Dating today has evolved into a highly complex system of trial and error with young singles today requiring more guidance than ever on how to attract a potential partner of the opposite gender.

To be honest I have no idea how it all works... but let me fill you in on a new trick I've discovered.

No it's not 'negging' (the highly controversial double handed method where a guy tells a girl something in order to both compliment her and make her insecure ie "That's a really nice dress, I saw the exact same dress on a girl in that other bar")

It's called "J's-100%-guaranteed-to-attract-the-attention-of-chicks" method.

Step 1 - find a baby. The younger the better but DO remember that the newborn is more volatile and may projectile vomit on you at innappropriate times. If at all possible find a mixed baby (for this experiment I used a half Anglo, half Asian baby) as they are guaranteed to draw even the most hardened women.

Step 2 - take the baby to a local shopping mall and walk around for hours on end. Don't make eye contact with the women as they walk past. Let the baby do this and draw them in for the kill.

Step 3 - remember that at the end of the day they are interested in the cute baby and NOT you and by virtue of you having a baby you will immeaditaely be struck off their 'available' list as you are supposedly 'taken'

Step 4 - please return baby to wherever you pinched it from.

Today I went to have brunch with my lil sister who is working as a nanny so I got to push the pram all over Bondi Westfield as she shooped for my birthday present (I still don't know how that works?)

The baby was an absolute stunner... behaved himself the whole time... was very cute and drew lots of attention wherever we went. Looked kinda funny though cos everyone assumed my sister and I were the parents but kinda stared when they saw his Asian features. Haha! Got them!

Was really good to spend time with A cos we really havent been able to the last few years (it wasd a bit far to travel when she lived in America) but hopefully we can do better this year. She' managed to emplo herself a personal trainer which just makes me feel fat again. Oh well... I DO think the swimming is doing some good.

Tonight I'm off to dinner with the old med school buds which shoudl be great. I miss seeing them every day at uni... being in the dungeon is so isolating...

Can't wait till I'm back in Sydney for good!