Bored...

Ok.

I'm over it.

The sheen of being an intern has worn off and I'm bored.

And not in a small way... in a HUGE way. Now we have a few registrars, I have very little work to do and I kinda feel like my job is irrelevant. After doing the ward round (which I just sit thru) I play around looking at my patients lab results and then twiddle my thumbs... chart some meds.. and then count down to lunch.

There's seriously gotta be more to internship than this. I'm becoming ahedonic (someone who lacks pleasure in things) at an alarming rate and I'm beginning to become really down about this whole term.

In fact, after living down in the madhouse for so long... I'm really starting to question my sanity... espcially after 2 nights ago I had a dream that someone was trying to kill me so I murdered them with a table knife in self defence. It was so vivid... I remember going for their intercostal spaces so as to inflict the most damage and try to get their heart... how morbid is that! Woke up in a panic with my heart racing and freaked out by my dream thought content. Watch out if I ever carry a knife around... hehe...

To top it off, last night us interns watched a documentary about the London Bombings on TV... it was really disturbing (as only those kind of documentarys can be) and I went to bed feeling really down... so to cheer myself up today I went to McDonald's for breakfast... nothing like their 'spicy sausage' to release some much-needed endorphins.

Took a super long lunch break today (to pace my boredom) and sat in the local mall and drank a large ice chocolate from Gloria Jeans... reminded me of doing Management Viva questions with the old gang from St. George in med school. I wish I was back in med school... at least then if you were bored you could make up a tutorial that you 'had to go to'... now I just sit there and stare at the computer screen... [sigh]

Please pray for my sanity!

"Superb"

I feel validated.

Today we got some new registrars and as the head psychiatrist of the department was introducing them to me he said "And this is DrJ... this is only his 2nd week out of med school... but he's superb"

I am superb. I am a 'superb' doctor.

Now I know it was probably just a trivial social nicety... but hey... I need to catch these moments when they happen. And when the boss says you're 'superb'... it's time to milk it for all it's worth (cos no one else will say so).

Today on the 'ward' round I felt so important because the old reg was on holidays so I was the one who knew what was happening with the patients... so all of a sudden the boss was asking ME what was happening... and for once... I KNEW!

Gone are those days of sleeping in the vertical on those lengthy ward rounds. No longer do I dream of lunch to pass the time. Now I am a doctor! I have to pay attention on the ward rounds and actually DO stuff.

So today becasue the new reg's had no idea... I took it upon myself to order the Clozapine bloods (without having to be reminded) and I even had a nice chat to one of our long-termer patients (Ms Blah) about her health problems.

In the afternoon, another one of the shrinks said "Ms Blah says she doesnt want me as her doctor anymore... she wants YOU!"... I felt so embaressed (but also very cool... that I have the patients preferring me to their psychiatrist). It's the little things that make this job worth it.

But just in case you think I'm getting a big head, today at lunch the interns had an orthopaedic presentation. usually we just eat free food and snooze... but today the surgeon was firing off questions at us. Man I can't believe how much ortho I'm forgetting!... argh!

Weekend was very relaxed... watched way too much payTV and ate out too much.

But found a great church to go to up here... it's so relieving to go to church after living in the psych wards... meet with my brothers and sisters and be reminded of what's 'real' in life. The church E and I went to was really good. Super friendly and they made us feel very welcome. Think I'll def go back there.

Whoop Whoop Hospital is a dump though. On Friday E was put on call without the legally required protection of a backup medical registrar to call. So basically poor Dr E was covering the ENTIRE hospital by herself for her very first overtime shift with no one to call for backup. Not only was this highly illegal (on the hospital's part) but it's very dangerous for patients and stressful for E. Thankfully it was an event free evening until one of my psych patients decided to overdose on his medications. (Medication compliance is a BIG issue in my ward)

Anyways, the pool is calling and I'm off to go lapping*

Ciao!

*NB "Lapping":
-1. swimming up and down a pool
-2. driving one's car between two roundabouts in a country town

Advance Australia Fair

Yesterday we got the day off cos it was Australia Day.

It's times like these I am glad I live amongst a nation of bludgers... we get so many public holidays it's not funny.

Decided to go to Byron Bay for the day with the other 'terns/RMOs/Reg's and soak up some UV rays (especially as I will prob never see sunlight this year). Had a nice lunch at a cafe (with some Coca-Cola) and then went swimming in the ocean... waves were pretty ordinary but the water was perfect temperature...

Was great to just hang out with the other doctors and get to know them better too... they're not as weird as one might have expected/feared...

It really DOES feel like we're on a giant working holiday... surrounded by such nice beaches and with lots of other doctors to hang with.

Supposedly we are all to 'do' something Australian for Australia Day so I can't think of a better way to spend it than wearing thongs and swimming at the beach... this IS the lucky country!

Also managed to watch some 'Lost' last night... omg I can't believe where this story is heading... I'm def hooked on this show and hope it goes on for many more seasons... haha... I know what's in the hatch... and much... much... more... muhahahaha!

Axe-E-Dent

King Arthur has finally come good.

Turns out he was attacked by someone 3 years ago who put an axe thur his skull (I'm serious!) which caused his brains to spill out of the cranial cavity until some surgeon put them back inside his head.

Now 3 years later we 'think' his bizarre royal rampage was a result of a epileptic seizure which was set off by his prior brain damage (which is a foci for abnormal neural electrical activity) so I got to order him an EEG (brain wave test) and today he was back to normal... and even laughing when we told him what he had been doing 3 days earlier.

I am finally settling into the psych intern role now... I make sure I rechart those psychotropic drugs... I check the lab results on the computer with great finesse and I even know how to maximise my lunch break and still make it back on time (I found out my pager still works when I'm in the shopping mall). Who knows... perhaps I really AM a doctor now?

The rest of the staff have been really supportive and keep reminding me when I forget to do stuff, but I hope next week to try to get more involved and do more stuff cos otherwise I can end up sitting around watching the clock (the joys of shiftwork).

Have been questioning my OWN sanity in the last week. In "The House of God" one of the rules of medicine is that "The patient is the one with the disease"... it is so simple, yet so apt. Gotta keep telling myself... "I'm the doctor... not the crazy one"... cos even today I was beginning to think maybe sanity IS just a social construct... argh! These existential post modernistic thoughts will send me mad... time to chill out on the weekend and watch some cable TV or Korean soaps (Yes, I DID buy a Korean Soap to watch whilst in Whoop Whoop)

Missing Sydney a LOT right now... sigh!

Most people I know, think that I'm...

Deleted for medicolgeal protection... if you really wanna know what was in this post... call me!

Mehhhhh (tales from Whoop Whoop Hospital)

Just finished day 2 of being an intern...

and yeah... I've been super slack in not bloggin until now (primarily because I wanted to make sure I preserved the quality of the blog and not fill it up with random stuff when I was too tired to think about what to type - but then I realised I'm gonna always be tired so what the heck)

I'm sooo tired... and I'm doing the bludgy term too (psychiatry)! One of my fellow 'terns got home at 9:30pm last nite... and she's pregnant! I felt so bad that I had been off since 3:30pm... what is this thing called internship? If I had known just how much work (especially paperwork) it would involve I prob would have done Arts at uni.

Today I met King Arthur...apparently King Arthur lives in Whoop Whoop and is THE true king of England (sorry Lizzie, your time is apparently up!) and he decided to assault some peoplw with a plank of wood and tell us about how he needed to use the nuclear deactivation codes to protect his kingdom.

Almost had an MI (heart attack) when one of my patients started choking and the nurse called out my name and I suddenly realised I was supposed to do something. As I started to vasoconstrict with the adrenaline pouring out of my adrenal glands; I began to realise I had no idea what to do... but then it was a false alarm. Thank God for that!

The cool thing about Psychiatry is that it's not that busy (even though we have a full house of patients) so I always finish on time and I even got to see a suspected tertiary neurosyph case (that's pretty rare for you non-med ppls)

Whoop Whoop itself is pretty humid. Thankfully we have lots and lots of aircon so I feel like I'm in Singapore again. The 'terns all stay in one big house near the hospital and it's pretty cool. It's like living in college again except the downside is no internet access so I'll have to use the hospital's computers.

Anyways, tonight I shall go home and backwrite a whole lot of blogs about 'stuff'...

To all the fellow interns out there... I feel your pain... and if it all gets too much for you... have a breakdown... imagine some voices in your head and come pay me a visit in the psych dept...

"So how DOES that make you feel?"

Family relations

Sister got back ok... has an awful American accent though (sorry A... but you do!) and one of those very cool video iPods (must say it makes my iPod shuffle look like a piece of junk)

We had an early breakfast together which was very cool. We ate at the motel and they had unlimited servings of juicy bacon, perfectly cooked eggs, sausages and hash browns. I ate so much to get the most out of the money Dad paid for it. Nuthing like a good greasy breakfast to kick start the day...(well not actually kick start it cos as soon as they left I went home and slept)

She also brought an Austrian (not Australian) friend back with her and A was trying to con her friend into eating Vegemite. I really cannot fathom why they invented that stuff. It smells awful and looks like the poo of a sick person. Not exactly Australia's finest export... but apparently it "puts the rose in every cheek"... pfff*!

Speaking of families I said I'd explain how I managed to end up with a pseudo ex-wife. Well in my 4th year of med school I was shafted out to the country for 6 weeks with one of the girls in my year named C. She and I used to argue about stuff and S said that we were fought like an old married couple. So we joked that our trip to the country was our 'honeymoon'. Anyways to cut a long story short we ended up being referred to as the 'husband and wife' team in our clinical school.

The whole time though she had a boyfriend and so this year I decided that she had been 'cheating' on me by having a boyfriend on the side when she got married. And so I divorced her. And hence I now have a pseudo-ex-wife named C.

However to further complicate things I also gained a "pseudo-mistress" due to the fact that I got a lift with S every day and played "Big2" (card game similar to Emperor/Scum) and C saw this as a sign of infidelity to our pseudo-marriage and so I had a very bizarre system of relationships happening in my med school days.

So there you have it... and if you understood half of that you're doing well... and if you have no idea how it all works... it's no big loss.

By the way a big hi to both my pseudo ex-wife C and my pseudo mistress S! Gonna miss those gals next year when I'm working.

*Sorry S for stealing your line.

Oh What a Feeling!

Today I finally got my brand new car.

If it is possible to be in love with a piece of machinery then I am.

Ode to my car
O car,
You take me very far
You shine like a star
You drive on tar
Your brand is Toyota
Your name is Corolla#

Pretty good huh? Haha! As the old proverb* goes, "If you can't get a girlfriend... get a car!"

But seriously, this car is very cool (and at the price it's put me in debt it had better be)... after having to PT (public transport) and 'scab' (get lifts off my very very very generous med and church friends) I can finally go wherever I want whenever I want. It also means when I'm too lazy to walk to The Zoo to work, I can drive there and pay their ridiculous car park fees.

I bought a Toyota Corolla Ascent Wagon Auto with "Shimmer" metallic paint and window tinting (yet to be put on). She drives like a dream, is extremely fuel efficient and has lots of room to transport stuff in. So if any of you out there need a lift, let me know!

I've fully insured her cos last year my mate B parked his car outside my place and this guy smashed into the back of his car then did a runner leaving B with one really smashed up car. My street is pretty bad for that cos it is a link between 2 pretty big arterial roads in Sydney which means that people go down it to avoid the traffic lights on another road but our street is not wide enough to take all the traffic. It's times like this I wish I had a garage!

Tonight I'm gonna drive my little baby to the airport to pick up my sister whose just been working in America for 2 years as an "au pair" (a posh sounding "nanny"). Should be good to see her again...


# the Corolla was named Australia's 3rd most popular car today after the stalwart Commodre and Falcon and is THE highest selling small car in Australia. Toyota also recorded the highest volume of sales overall in a year that saw Australians buy almost 1 million cars despite rising petrol costs.

* this may not actually be an old proverb at all, but rather Dr J's random views on life.

Up and down.... up and down...

Given that I've put on a bit too much weight in the last few months (due entirely to Mum's cooking and being fed too much in Taiwan and Singapore) I've decided to go swimming everyday until I significantly reduce my adipose tissue.

So off I trundled to the pool to go for a swim.

Except due to the heat wave Sydney had been experiencing the pool was packed ful of people which is not cool cos:
a) the showers are full and so you have to wait ages
b) the lanes of the pool are clogged with geriatrics doing about 100m/hour
c) more people are around to see you (and despite what people may think, I AM self-conscious)

But when you pay $2.60 to get in, you've gotta get your value out of it (aren't I sounding Asian now?) so I bit the bullet and did my laps... now normally my 1.7km are a breeze... but seeing as fatso here hadn't been to the pool in about a month... his arms were screaming in pain by about the 1km mark and by the end he wanted to die (and thinks he may have had chest pain - but then again every med student/doctor thinks they have chest pain)

So the moral of the story?
a) don't eat so much at Christmas and when you go overseas (esp not so much bubble tea and Coke)
b) when you haven't exercised in a long time... don't bother starting again! (kidding - I'll be back in the pool tomorrow hopefully!)
c) Swimming in a pool is mind-numbingly boring (you stare at a black line for 1 hour) and yet very relaxing.

Speaking of which this reminds me of 3 of the worst jokes ever (the invovle pools):
i) What is small, blue and floats at the top of a pool?
A dead baby.
ii) What is small, green and sits at the bottom of a pool?
The same baby a week later.
iii) What is big, yellow and sits at the bottom of a pool?
A bulldozer.

Now you really hate me don't you?

Captain J

Next week I will be going away on mission. Every year I take a week off to go and tell poeple in a small country town about Jesus. It's loads of fun as we run kid's programs for over 200 kids and 50 teenagers. We have a team of about 50 who all get on really well and are such a awesome bunch of people. Plus we get our own private swimming pool for our own use during our time off.

As part of the kid's program this year we are running a drama/skit involving pirates and lucky me gets to be the Captain of the boat.

So on Tuesday we had a practice for the drama and I got to dress up wearing a funny wig (I don't look too bad with a decent head of hair!) and pirate-looking hat. It's rather embaressing but I seem to have a thing for making a fool of myself (like the time I dressed up in a rather unflattering Stormtrooper costume for Medball one year - I don't care what people thought... I got to live my dream for one night!)

Tuesday night was cool too cos I went to see Lion Witch & Wardrobe for the 2nd time with my mate A (who is suffering girlfriend withdrawal syndrome so I'm his 'man-date' until she gets back). I found myself getting quite emotionally charged during the inital scenes of the bombing of London and the evacuation of the children from London and their separation from their families. My grandfather was one of those children evacuated during the London bombings in WWII and it had a profound impact on him as a child and even still today as a 71 year old. It felt like I was watching a significant piece of my family history on the big screen. But besdies that the movie itself is amazing... CS Lewis wrote such a succint and apt analogy of the Christian gospel and I think the film makers did a very good job of retaining that in the film. In the book itself it's even more obvious... but even in the film, they've left in elements of his "Liar, Lunatic, Lord" apologetic arguement when the Prof debates 'logic' with the elder Pevensie children. It sends shivers up my spine to see the gospel put in such a colourful artistic way... the Bible itself uses imagery all the time and I like the way Lewis painted it all together. Will definitely have to buy on DVD methinks!

Correction: Some of my med friends DID know the original fate of Chicken Little and my assumption was based on a majority not an exhaustive surveying. I have subsequently been corrected and so I apologise for any insinuations to the contrary. =)

Tastes Like Chicken

It seems education is not what it used to be. Back when I was a kid (and it is not that long ago - although my hair has decided to abandon my scalp) everyone knew the story of "Chicken Little" and his sad fate in the den of Foxy Loxy.

So imagine my suprise when I discover that none of my highly educated medical colleagues had ever heard of the real story behind Disney's cartoon. The movie itself was very funny (which is good cos I had some hesitations about Disney once they parted with the Pixar-powerhouse) but they totally destroyed the original story.

So for those of you who may not have been educated about the real story of Chicken Little, let me enlighten you:

It starts off when Chicken Little has an acorn fall on his head one day. He has an existential crisis and believes that the sky is falling on his head and decides to trundle off to his nearest sovereign to warn him of the impending danger. As he goes along he meets a variety of feathered friends such as "Henny Penny", "Ducky Lucky", "Goosey Loosey" and "Turkey Lurkey" who obviously had a thing for rhyming names. They all decide that a fowl road trip is in order and join him in aimlessly journeying to warn the King about the falling sky. Then they meet a pretty smart animal called Foxy Loxy who says he knows the way to the King's place. Chicken Little mindlessly accepts his invitation and Foxy Loxy leads them into his den and promptly eats them all... The End... (I'm serious!)

Now of course Disney can't allow such animal cruelty in one of their movies anymore (nevermind the horror of Bambi's mother being shot) so they instead twist this classic children's horror story into a comedy about alien invasions and throw in some fat pigs and goldfish to make it an all round old-fashioned fun movie. Now I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that; but puh-lease Disney... resist the urge to sugar coat every children's story and give it a happy ending! Cos by the way the original Little Mermaid doesnt get the guy in the end!

That said... it was a good movie and we topped it off with a nice meal at Eastgardens and did some phone shopping with my pseudo-ex-wife-C (maybe I'll explain how that works in another post)

Thankfully today is less hotter than yesterday (it hit 45 degrees - the hottest day in Sydney since 1939) and so milk is not such a bad idea (cf. "Anchorman - the legend of Ron Burgundy")

Happy New Year!

I luv New Year's Eve in Sydney.

Sydney has to be without a doubt THE best place to be for NYE. This was the second time I've seen them (in person, not on TV) and they are definitely worth the however million dollars that they divert from funding our health system... hehe.

NYE is always an interesting time. People make lots of well meaning resolutions that usually turn out to last about the length of a cricket test. Last night a med student who will be at "The Zoo" this year asked me what my NY resolution was. I told him it was to be mean to my med students and make them do all the PRs (rectal exams for those of you who were smart enough to not do med) for me. So watch out you little platelets aggregating in my corridors!

My Mum and Dad had their very first date on NYE many eons ago... apparently that was in the days before they used to explode half of the Harbour Bridge in pyrotechnical displays. But this now gives Dad the opportunity to make those inevitable jokes about how they had different fireworks on the bridge so many years ago (yes it makes me wanna throw up too!)

But I digress... so anyway a whole bunch of us medsticks went to my friend C's penthouse apartment for NYE and overlooked the entire harbour. We ate awesome food (thanks to her mum!) and then watched the first ste of fireworks and then, as only medsticks would do on NYE... we watched Scrubs... how nerdy are we?

But it was cool and we even managed to squeeze in a game of "The Simpsons" board game which led to a rather interesting impersonation of a euphonium, an invisible card trick and someone trying to eat something that tasted disgusting?? I still don't get what the goal of the game was... but it was fun!

So anyway... midnight rolled around and we farewelled 2005 and said hello to 2006. What a big year it has been... too mcuh stuff has gone on to fit it all in this post... but let's just say I'm glad its over!

Let's hope I'm not working ED next NYE!

What have I done?

Well after a long time of 'not-blogging' I have decided to come out of retirement (for better or worse) and start putting down my thoughts (read: rantings) on life and in particular my internship at a nearby hospital (which for anonymity's sake on this blog we shall entitle "The Zoo") I'm hoping the nurses (and pharmacy girls) are as nice as the nurse in this pic (but somehow I doubt it given my past experiences at The Zoo as a med student).

A big thankyou (note: sarcasm) to all of you who have encouraged (read: pestered) me to get back up on the blogging horse. I can see many hours of wasted time being spent on this endeavour for only a few bored wannabe doctors to read... but such is life!

Please dump comments on the posts and if I'm feeling generous I may respond to you (or I might just realise whose reading these posts and start censoring stuff)

I'll try to keep it all anonymous and I'll do the cool pixelation thingy on photos if I put them up (learnt that trick off S)

Well onto the first post I say!

To infinity and... well you can't really go beyond infinity... can you now?